Look, if you’re here already, something’s already gone wrong with your life. Maybe you want to find more meaning in your internet time wasters, or you’re wondering if our writers are free-range, or other irrelevant stuff. Well you shouldn’t be wondering any of that. Just go back to the articles.
Okay if you’re still here I’ll tell you how this is supposed to go. Your participation in a website with funny articles is pretty straight forward. It should something like this:
Laugh a lot.
Your end of the deal doesn’t include more than that, unless you want to buy some shirts or a keychain. I guess a hat is fine, or whatever. But there literally isn’t anything else you have to do. So, please, go ahead back to the articles.
Still here? Okay, I can tell you from here on out that you’ll get no real information and might even end up with less than you had before. Yes, we have that power – you may literally become dumber. You’ve been warned.
Q: What is your mission statement?
A: I don’t know. Probably pizza.
Q: How do you come up with content?
A: We just do.
A: This is by far our most asked question and we are tearfully joyful about it. Carry on.
Q: You’re not funny and this isn’t a question.
A: No problem, your refund check is in the mail.
Q: How are babies made?
A: The stork brings them…duh.
Q: Can you teach me some great guitar moves?
A: No, but I can show you some mean moves on my accordion.
Q: How can we contact you?
A: If you must.. [email protected] .
Q: What is your hashtag policy?
Q: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
A: Alright [email protected]$$. Look, the chicken came first. An understanding of mid-level biology would reveal that there had to have been some type of mutation, along with successful natural selection process thereafter, in order for chickens to exist in the first place. This means that, somewhere along the line, a dinosaur had a chicken. And yes, dearest [email protected]$$, this chicken WAS in an egg before it hatched, but a mere glance at the famed thought experiment of Erwin Schrödinger would inform you that, since the inside of the egg can’t be known, that its contents would have to be considered both dinosaur AND chicken, or neither dinosaur NOR chicken – and the fact remains that the egg containing the chicken MUST be counted as a dinosaur egg, NOT a chicken egg. So the existence of the chicken starts when the potentiality of the chicken collapses into one of two possible realities or, in other words, when it hatches.
Q: Paper or Plastic?
A: Seriously? Bring your own. #savetheplanet